I would say that this quote is commonly known. It is true. But one day, it randomly came to my mind; what if I am not doing this for myself? When I am listening to myself, am I listening to understand or am I listening to respond/react? I found that, although I typically attempted to listen to others to understand versus reply, I was not doing this for myself! How can I do something to others if I am not doing it for myself?
If your inner thoughts are telling you that you are horrible, you’ll never amount to anything, you are disgusting, you’re fat and lazy, you’re unhealthy, you’re a disgrace, you can never win, you’ll never accomplish any of your goals…how are you reacting to those thoughts? Are you getting angry? Are you getting sad? That emotion is a reaction to those thoughts!
Try and listen to yourself to understand versus reply. Ask yourself, “Why am I getting upset/angry over these thoughts? I know that I DO have the ability to accomplish all of my goals, so why am I allowing myself to get down about not being able to accomplish them?” Trust comes into play here. Validation.
There are two layers to this too. If you are trying to listen to yourself to understand but at the same time you are not listening to yourself to understand about listening to yourself to understand, you are still listening to yourself to reply.
Let’s say I decided that I was going to try and give this to myself and try to listen to myself to understand versus reply. Sometimes, I will think I am successful – other times I will think I am not successful. In times that I think that I am not successful, am I in acceptance of this? Or am I using it as additional validation for the thoughts that I was having to begin with?
Give yourself some compassion. Give yourself some love. Listen to yourself with the intent to understand versus reply so that you can do the same for others.