Many people say that in order to love another, you must love yourself first. But a lot of people don’t fully know what that means. Ask yourself, what do you do to show yourself love? People would answer with things like, “I make sure that I take time to relax, go get my nails done, a massage, work out, etc.” Sometimes people have a better idea of it and say, “When I wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, I tell myself that I love the person that is staring back at me.” I’m not saying that any of these things are not ways someone could show themselves love, however, true self love goes deeper than than, it’s more consistent than that.
If you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love the person staring back at you, what happens when you go about your day and you trip over something? What kinds of thoughts are you going to have in that moment and how are those thoughts going to carry you about your day? Are you going to tell yourself you are stupid? Are you going to tell yourself you are clumsy? What about something along the lines of, “I can’t do anything right?” What kind of self-rejecting thoughts are you going to have due to it? Feel your body, how are you going to carry yourself through the rest of the day? Is your head going to hang low? Are you not going to be as outgoing or friendly as you usually might? Those actions will help you determine what kinds of unconscious thought process might be going on that you don’t even realize. Many times you will have a thought process on top of the unconscious thought process that completely denies the truth in what you really think and feel.
Self-love is about your thought processes. Both conscious and unconscious. It’s about making sure that you are speaking to yourself in every moment as you would a loved one. It’s also about showing those thought processes. Each and every one. It’s about loving yourself enough to love the good and bad parts about you and freely express it. If someone doesn’t know that you tell yourself that you’re unworthy, how are they to understand how that unworthiness comes out in your actions? If you tell yourself you are unworthy and push people away, how are they to understand that it’s not them that’s the issue? Because rejection comes first within yourself.
Watch your outer thought processes closely. What are you telling yourself? Then ask yourself questions and dig deep to find the truth in those thought processes. How does what you tell yourself appear in your life? If you tell yourself that you’re confident, and you truly believe it, but at the same time this belief does not come out in your actions, where is the truth in that thought? The only way you can start to change your thought process and show yourself love is to first recognize those thoughts, watch them. Then change those outer thought processes. After a while, try and see what kind of inner hidden thought processes and belief systems you have that you might have never realized were there. The ego tries to keep these things hidden, and you might find yourself trying to validate that which is not the truth. Dive deep.
Nobody is perfect and imperfection is perfection, but you can further your self love by loving those thought processes that may not be considered “good” by exposing those thought processes out into the world. Love the darkness enough to show it the light of the world.