If you want to know whether or not you are willing to be a vulnerable person, the only thing that you need to ask yourself is this: Who knows the real you? The true you. Do you even know the real you?
Being truly vulnerable requires one to know oneself, one’s true self [see my Truth v. Honesty post]. Because if you don’t know your true self, how can you be vulnerable and show this true self to the world? If all you know about you is your ego mask, all that you will show to the world is that ego mask. Vulnerability requires consciousness, it requires us to be awake.
Vulnerability requires us to be in a present state of no judgment, which also requires an acceptance of your judgment. It is expressing exactly what is in your heart and on your mind, exposing your real self to those around you.
Vulnerability means to be without your mask in a state of full acceptance of true self. It means opening yourself up to the world and letting people in. Vulnerability is a chain reaction. When one person opens up and is vulnerable, the person experiencing that vulnerability from another will be more likely to be vulnerable themselves, and even be vulnerable with a completely different person, setting off a chain reaction of vulnerability.
We live in a world where it is more acceptable to withhold being vulnerable due to fear, usually it is the fear of being hurt in one way or another. Most of the time, the pain we are trying to avoid is emotional pain. But what if everyone was a little more vulnerable? I believe that we would begin to see that there is nothing to fear and more people would feel free to just be themselves and our expectations would shift. We would see more of the spirit within us all. We would open ourselves up to love more and experience less self-made pain and misery. When someone asks us how we are, to say “good” is the socially acceptable response, even if we aren’t doing okay. What if we could change that? What if it was okay to say, “you know what, today has been a bit rough,” we would have the opportunity to open ourselves up to others’ help and it would transform the notion that we are all separate beings and help bring people together to see each other’s humanity. We each are responsible for our own emotions and our own inner state of being, however, being open to and receiving help is not a bad thing. With a shift of cultural and societal expectations, we would feel less pressure to put our mask on, truth would become the norm. In a time where separateness through social media and the internet is rampant through cyberbullying etc., we need to begin to make the shift. But in order to make that shift, we need to make the shift within ourselves first. Be the example. Telling someone else what to do isn’t enough, especially if you are not practicing what you preach.
It is time that we get truthful with ourselves about who we really are, be present within ourselves, and take responsibility for ourselves, our emotions, and behavior. The external is always a reflection of the internal. As above, so below, as within, so without. The biggest blocks to being vulnerable are fear, judgment, and not living in the present moment.
If you are afraid of what someone might say or think if you take off your mask, you’re not being present and you’re judging yourself in a negative way about what you look like without the mask. This judgment in you causes fear. All of this will be reflected back onto you. If you judge yourself, then how can you expect someone else not to? Now, we all have ego, and for as long as we are here on Earth we are still part human. Judgment happens, judgment will happen. In order for us to be vulnerable through that judgment we must accept that judgment and not judge the judgment! It’s like layers of an onion. If you are judging yourself for not being able to not judge, you are still judging yourself about your ability to not judge. You are not being present with yourself by projecting your judgment onto another person in another time other than this moment. This combined brings fear. In order to move through that fear you must first address your presence and your judgment.
Here are some affirmations for this:
-I choose to believe that I am worthy of being accepted for who I really am
-I choose to believe that I am an imperfectly perfect being
-I choose to believe that if I open myself up to love by being vulnerable, the same type of love that I show myself by opening up will be returned back to me
-I choose to believe that the only moment that ever exists, that ever matters, is the present moment
-I choose to believe that I can be courageous
-I choose to believe that showing my true self will attract exactly what I need in each moment my life
-I choose to believe that anyone that does not accept my true self and reject me, is not meant to have a place in my life
This one is not an affirmation, but it does help to stay present: Focus on whatever it is that is right out in front of you. If it is a faucet, for example, focus on the faucet and tell yourself “I am looking at a faucet right now.”
The first step is to address your presence and the topics I discuss in my post called Truth v. Honesty. Once you know your true self, focus on staying present and focus on working on judgment. Once you have that, work on courage.