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How much of the enemy are you to yourself? When you think you’re “pointing the gun” outside of you, are you sure you’re not just looking in the mirror pointing it at yourself?
Take a deep look at your inner dialogue. What kinds of things do you say to yourself? You’re making dinner and you burn it all on accident. How do you respond to yourself? Do you tell yourself that it’s okay? Or do you maybe swear a little bit, get a bit upset, and tell yourself that you failed?
It’s not the most serious of circumstances but how you treat yourself in smaller situations will come up in bigger situations also. You fail a test. What do you tell yourself then? Your marriage or relationship falls apart and you break up or get divorced, what do you tell yourself then?
Do you even know what you tell yourself? Most of the time our inner dialogue goes un-noticed by us, but it will and does come out.
Start off slow and recognize the kinds of thoughts you have when you find yourself in a difficult situation. The thoughts that you have about you are the only thoughts that matter. If someone calls you dumb, who’s really calling who dumb? If one does not have that belief in themselves first, the name calling does not have affect. It all starts with YOU. If you’re a millionaire, but decide to hit the streets for a day, and all long day people point and laugh at you, judge you, and make fun of you, it’s likely that none of that would affect you. Why? Because you know that all of that is not true. This rings true when it comes to anything anyone might say to you or about you. When it comes to feeling like you’re dumb, stupid, or weird, who’s to be the judge of that? Why do you keep pulling your own trigger?
The only person that can be the judge of you is you. The only person that can hurt you in this way is you. Nothing outside of you can get to the inside of you without it already being there in the first place.
Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Tell yourself you are worthy on a daily basis. Once you start to recognize your own self talk you can start changing it for the better. And it does get easier!
So, you’ve spent some time now taking a look at your inner dialogue. This active thought process that keeps running and running on our heads. But there’s still something missing. There’s still another something that is going on that’s a bit more subtle. A little harder to notice. This thought process lives deep within our consciousness and is difficult to detect. It is habitual inner inner thought processes that we have been practicing for years and years unconsciously.
Picture yourself telling a friend “I am just this awesome person, beautiful on the inside and out, everybody loves me.” Now picture yourself in a social scenario and somebody approaches you. Your posture begins to slouch and your shoulders roll in and your head is down and you’re looking towards the floor. Your body language is closed off and you get a little anxious or nervous and your voice is lacking confidence in your conversation.
Does that show a belief that “everybody loves me”? Does that show a positive thought process about self?
You can say something out loud to another person about yourself, and you could be honest in your statement. You could also tell it to yourself in your own head, it could be a valid honest statement. But it may not be the truth. These deeper thought processes and deeper belief systems will come out more in actions than in your words. Your external thought process and belief systems are easier to detect, because they are audible whether it be just you talking to you in your own mind or you speaking outwardly to another person.
Tell yourself and others “I am not fat” but the moment that somebody tells you “you’re fat” or you get offended by something similar, what kind of deeper belief does that point to? Who’s the one that’s pulling the trigger on who?
Recognize your outer dialogue. Once you’ve got a good grasp on that, then create a new habit of positive thought processes about yourself. The more you practice it the deeper these new belief systems will be engraved into your consciousness. Trust yourself. If trust is not there it’s helpful to start will saying “I choose to believe…” to start your affirmations. This holds more power than “I am beautiful” for if there is no trust there is no power in such statement to self. “I choose to believe that I am beautiful” erases the negating aspect of lack of self trust. (It is also important to work on that as well but that’s not the focus of this post so I’m not going to touch on the how’s of that).
Love yourself. Think you’re bat shit crazy? Love it. So when somebody calls you crazy, you can thank them =)
You won’t be triggered by a statement in which, even if that belief is in place about self, you love about you! Somebody might try and insult you because you have blonde hair. But if you love that part about you, then the statement won’t trigger you.
Safety is on and it’s not loaded here!
Love yourselves and be kind to yourself.
Check out my blog’s Facebook page and Pursue You Coaching Facebook page for more information and join my Facebook Group or contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for a FREE 30 minute session. You can also check out my website: https://pursueyou.org