In one of my recent posts, I spoke about perspective (https://pursueyou.org/2020/04/07/my-perspective-on-perspectives/). And in creating our perspectives, often times we compare our situation with someone else’s.
When we compare our current situation to that of someone else, we do a disservice to ourselves in the experience that we are experiencing and comparing. We aren’t living in the experience itself. Imagine yourself on a raft floating along a calm river, trying to go against what the water is trying to force to you do. Now imagine yourself just going with where the water takes you, and at the end, everything is okay. Comparison, among other things, does not allow you to take in the experience for what it is. Comparing will tell you that you “should” feel a certain way about something or “shouldn’t” feel a certain way about something. This comparison does not erase the experience that you are having however!
Many times we use comparisons to make ourselves feel better, telling ourselves that “someone else out there has it worse.” This is true, however, if we ignore that which is going on inside of us and tell ourselves that we should not be feeling the way that we do, how much attention is being placed on that experience? Is it going against the experience or flowing through the experience? Each experience we have is giving something to us, even in the negative experiences we can gain positives out of it. If we don’t allow ourselves to be in the experience and flow with it, we suppress the negative and disallow ourselves from experiencing the positive that comes from it.
When we ignore these things, we aren’t giving the emotions the attention that it needs so that the feeling can flow through us. It gets suppressed and it gets shoved further down until we either snap or start experiencing other side effects of suppressing our emotions.
There is a balance here. This is not to say that we should, while we are navigating this 3D world, use our emotions to control us, but allow ourselves to experience the emotion and understand why we are experiencing the emotion so that the emotion doesn’t get “stuck.” This is also not to say that anything outside of you is responsible for these feelings. Only you are responsible for the way that you feel.
How can we fully love ourselves if we use comparisons in dismissing our emotions? How is it loving to dismiss that which is a part of us for any given moment in time? Love your emotions within your own experience. Comparing your inner state to the outer state or someone else’s outer or inner state disconnects you from your own self. When we are disconnected from self we aren’t loving self. And if we don’t have self love, how could we ever truly love another?