There are A LOT of life coaches out there. Whether they focus on a specific area or not, there are many many coaches to choose from. So how do you choose a good one? Here are a few things that you need to know if you want to pick out a good coach that will be worthwhile and actually give you the results that you are looking for versus keeping you on their books:
- Choose a coach that resonates with you.
This is especially true when it comes to choosing a spiritual coach. Spirituality is an inner journey and if your coach is coaching you in a route that doesn’t resonate with you, you won’t achieve the results that you are looking for. A spirituality coach helps you get closer with yourself. This is also ESPECIALLY true when it comes to a twin flame coach and in spiritual connections. I have talked about spiritual connections in previous posts in this blog, and there is a lot of information “out there” regarding all of the labels. If you want to go down a spiritual “worm hole” – Google Twin Flames. A coach is not there to validate the story that you’ve always told yourself, they are there for you to challenge yourself, question yourself, and consider other thought processes other than the ones you’ve always had (you go to a coach for change after all) but if they do not resonate with your core values, then you may not get what you’re seeking out of coaching.
- Find a coach that has actually done the work themselves.
Do as I say not as I do right? A coach that has actually gone through the process within themselves is going to be able to better assist you than a coach who has not. When we go through the same processes as someone else, we are better able to understand what the other person is going through and rather than repeating things someone may have learned getting some type of certificate, they are actually giving you the tools that you are seeking from personal experience. I am not against certificates, I have one, however, coaching someone is not something that you can just go to school for. There is a deeper level of understanding that the coach must have, and, if your coach is not practicing what they preach, how are you going to react to that as a client of theirs?
- Do one-on-one sessions.
Many coaches out there have webinars, seminars, e-books, you name it. However, we are all different and we each have different thought processes, trauma, etc., and this requires more individualized attention. What is needed for one person may not be needed for another person. I do webinars, I am not against these kinds of things, however, you will get more out of your experience with a coach if you are doing one-on-one sessions rather than group-type classes or webinars or seminars, etc.
- Don’t fall for the usual marketing techniques.
If a coach is guaranteeing you results in a specific time period, or guaranteeing anything whatsoever, it’s just a marketing technique. Coaching requires the client’s participation. The client is the one that is wanting to change, the coach cannot do this for the client. The client needs to do their part in order for results to be achieved. So if any coach guarantees any kind of result, they’re just trying to entice you in. Also beware of coaches that try to keep you on as a client. They will maybe offer one type of “class” and then after you go through that, they’ll use the same marketing technique in order to get you to purchase another class, and so on and so forth. Coaches also sometimes use misleading titles to entice you in to watching a video, for example, just for you to not get the information that you watched the video for…but what you will get is them telling you at the end of the video to check out their website or to purchase some type of class, book, package, etc. in order to get the information that you’re seeking. Certain marketing techniques are very tempting, but stop and think about it for a minute before you make a choice on a coach because they said they can get you your twin flame back in 3 weeks, or help you make 6 figures in 6 months, or help you reconcile a relationship in 3 months. Even worse, be aware of coaches that claim that they have done something that seems ‘too good to be true’ – people do lie, or they twist the truth to fit their own agenda. I have seen these types of ads pop up for me, claiming “I got my blog 10,000 followers in 30 days.” I am not saying that some things are not possible, extraordinary things happen all the time, but be cautious.
- A coach is more of a “guide” than a “teacher.”
Again, this is especially more true for spiritual coaches. There are many self-proclaimed “gurus” and “teachers” – think about this. If a guru was that much of a guru, would they have to call themselves a guru? Wouldn’t their “guru” title be determined and given to them by those excluding themselves? If someone is a self-proclaimed “guru” all they are doing is placing that label upon themselves, that’s it. A coach should guide you rather than teach you. Again, spiritual matters are internal matters and a coach should make you question yourself and help you get closer to yourself because of it, and they may teach you a few things as well, however, they should not act as a sort of authority figure over you like a cult leader would, for example. A good coach should help you see how you are your best guide, your heart is your best guide, your truth is your best guide. This doesn’t mean that we don’t listen to others’ input, but a good coach should help you trust yourself and your own guidance, especially spiritually.
Last but not least, a good coach should want you to receive results. Again, if a coach is trying to keep you on as a client and keeps telling you that you need a different “class” or that you need to [essentially pay them more money for results], they are more interested in keeping you on as a client than helping you. A good coach may offer different things to you, but they should not tell you that you need to purchase more classes or a different webinar, or a different set of books, in order to get results. If the marketing promise is 6 figures in 6 months, they shouldn’t put you through a $3,000 class and when you don’t get results, tell you that you need to purchase something else in order to make 6 figures in 6 months, and at that point their promise of 6 months will probably have already expired! They don’t want you to make 6 figures, they want you to help them make 6 figures!
Change first happens within, do not expect coaching or anything else external to “do the work” for you.
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Don’t be shy, feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts!