How to Stop Self-Sabotaging

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If you had everything that you ever wanted in life…would you be able to accept it?  Or would you find a way to somehow get into a thought process, a pattern, that would lead you to self sabotage?

Quite often, we tend to tell ourselves that we want something, but then once we get it, we turn to old thought patterns, telling ourselves, “This is not going to last, I am going to lose this” or “I won’t be successful at this, I will end up failing” – you get the idea.  What happens when we continuously stay in these negative thought patterns?  We will find something that validates this thought, whether or not it even truly exists, and self sabotage.  Then what happens?  We do end up losing “this” and we end up “failing.”  But we don’t have to continue on doing this.  Have you ever wondered why certain people tend to have the SAME exact experience in relationships or in other aspects of life?  It’s not because this person is just unlucky and can’t ever experience something different.  It’s because of the inner processes within that person that causes them to experience the same thing over and over again.

Ego likes to assume, ego wants to keep us “safe” – that is, after all what it is there for.  We tend to look at the past to try and determine the status of our present moment…this is why the past will repeat itself and this is why the pattern exists.  When you look to the past to determine the status of the present moment, how can you expect anything other than what you have previously experienced?  The first step in having a new experience is allowing this experience to happen, and in order to be able to do this we need to stay in the present moment.  Nothing new comes from the past.  Patterns, repetition, habits, those stem from the past.

What happens when we’re not in the past, but in the future?  For one, most of the time that we are in the future, that future is STILL based in the past.  We try and ‘predict’ outcomes that we believe will keep us “safe” (emotionally) in the future based off of past patterns.  The future also holds “I will.”  What I mean by this, is that we pinpoint a time in the future where we say, “This is when ________.”  Or we say “One day ____________.” This causes anxiety.  Instead of placing our happiness right now in this moment, in the only moment where it could ever truly exist, we place it in a time that has yet to exist.  We place conditions on it.  Instead of feeling this happiness in the only place that it can ever be truly experienced, NOW, we place it on a time and place that doesn’t exist so that we can continue on with our thought process of “One day I will be happy.”  If you’re happiness is “One day I will be happy” your happiness will always be “One day I will be happy.”  Can you guess what happens if and when that point in the future is achieved?  What if that happiness comes?  That happiness will be short lived and shortly replaced by another point in the future that says “This is when_______.”  And so on and so forth the pattern continues.  When you are dependent on the future for your happiness you are dependent on a moment that does not exist.

If you want something different in life, you need to do something different in your life.  Change these self-sabotaging thought processes, get off the hamster wheel and ALLOW yourself to experience something different.  The past is not going to keep you ‘safe’ – the past will give you the same experiences over and over again.  The future will not keep you ‘safe’ – the future will give you an experience of continuous lack and yearning.

Experience vulnerability, jump off your hamster wheel.

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