There’s a common misconception in the spiritual community regarding ego. There’s always the goal to get rid of ego, and label ego as something that is “bad” and something that must be ascended. But how is this showing yourself love? What are you saying to yourself when you say that ego is bad and you need to get rid of it or ascend it, etc.?
What is ego? Ego is any and all of our thoughts/thought processes whether it is conscious or subconscious, or unconscious. As human beings, our ego is part of what makes us human. Of course, yes, we are much more than just humans, and we are just having a human experience, but being human is still a part of what we are. It is 50% of our existence as both human and spirit.
What does it mean to love yourself? Does it mean rejecting self? Of course not. So why would we reject a part of ourselves by rejecting our ego? Why would we call a part of ourselves “bad” and say that we need to get rid of it? Yes, of course there is always going to be things that we can work on within ourselves, but my point is that our egos are not inherently bad and it’s not something that we should try and completely get rid of. We can’t anyways. Not until the day that we lose these 3D bodies and pass away. When you tell yourself that your ego is bad and you want to get rid of it, you are telling yourself that a part of YOU is bad and you must get rid of a part of YOU.
You see, it is NOT ego itself that people tend to label as bad. It is the “negative” ego that people label as bad. When people think about ego, they think about the negative aspects of ego. But again, ego is not inherently bad. When your ego is in alignment with your soul, it is still ego. It is just a different ego. An ego that’s more in alignment with your truth, more in alignment with who you really are.
In any event, fighting with your ego, saying that it is bad, and trying to ascend it is only going to make ego stronger. The key is to accept and understand your ego, because with that acceptance and understanding, the ego loses its power. Rather than saying, “Grrr ego, you are so bad, I’m totes going to get rid of you” you’ll be saying, “Hello ego, I understand what your purpose is in my life right now and I accept what you have to tell me, but I’m going to follow what is inside of my heart right now.” What you resist, persists. The key is to work with your ego, not against it. Balance.
A technique that some people use for this is giving your ego a name, sometimes a funny name. And when you hear ego talking in a space that it has no place (ha, poet and didn’t even know it), call your ego out by name and tell it whatever you need to tell it at whatever point in your journey you are at that serves you the best.
Different people at different points in their journey are going to treat ego differently. If you’re in the beginning stages of waking up, you’ll likely be correcting your [negative] ego a lot. When your [negative] ego is telling you that you’re a no good son-of-a-gon’ – you’ll likely tell your ego, “Hey, back off yo! I am good!” Once you’re further along in your journey, things like this will become automatic, as different thought processes will seep deeper into your subconscious. But other things you will still need to call it out on.
Also, when you get further along in your journey, start to expose your [negative] ego. Exposing [negative] ego first requires one to recognize ego, this is why exposing ego will come when you’re further along in your journey. The ego hates to be exposed for what it is. Your ego even hides itself from you! Let alone other people. It hides so much that it makes you *think* that positive thoughts is not still ego! Love your [negative] ego by exposing your ego. If you have a “negative” egoic thought, don’t suppress it by holding it in – let it out! But in the process of letting it out, communicate that you also recognize it for what it is. If you are angry and know that you alone are responsible for it, but also want to recognize the part that someone else had to play in that anger, say it. Say it all. There is no harm in saying, “I’m angry. And I recognize my own part that I played in this anger and what I must do in order to move through this anger, but I also recognize the part that [the other person] had to play in my anger.” If you are feeling worthless, express it and also express your knowing that you also understand and recognize that this thought of worthlessness is a lie.
Let’s start to change the way we look at ego. Let’s not confuse negative ego with an ego that is in alignment with our truth. Let’s change the negative connotation that comes along with the term “ego.” All of the aspects that make you who you are deserve love from you. Even your human aspects. And if there ever comes a day that us humans evolve into something greater, it will be when it is and the process that takes us there will be what is – without force. The force of nature itself is all that is needed. Accept what is right now. Because rejection of self, even our human egoic self – is still self rejection. And living in the future, even an amazing one, is still not being present, it is still not being now.
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